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Embrace yourself : To be confident about yourself and in yourself

  The most important topic that everybody wants to be guided about but can't seek help because of the stereo type that what other people will say. The topic is how to embrace our true self irrespective of imperfection that we might have.  In today's time youth are the one who really needs to be guided about this issue. People spend hours on social media to watch tutorials about self embracement, read thousands of self improvement books but fail to know there self worth, here is why, the answer is simple they just cram but don't apply or may be they didn't find any practical tip to embrace their selves. In this article I will give you a practical guide lines which is applicable in real life. So read until the end.  Embracing your self does not mean to only accept your strengths. That's where mostly people mistaken and unable to feel confident in their life. It is important to see your strength to get motivated and doesn't feel good about your self. Seeing your st...
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External Validation: Common signs and Tips to overcome seeking approval from others

 

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EXTERNAL VALIDATION:

  • What is EXTERNAL VALIDATION?
  • It effects on human mind
  • It causes 
  • Common signs of EXTERNAL VALIDATION 
  • Tips to stop seeking EXTERNAL VALIDATION 
  • Conclusion 

What is EXTERNAL VALIDATION?

External validation is acknowledging your power, strength, achievements or any other positive attributes from others. We often rely on our friends or loved ones to be validated. We work hard to impress others to be approved or validated by others. It is a common need for people to feel motivated but the most horrible thing that happens when we forget to love ourselves and start pleasing others. This can also ruin your mental health, gradually you became mentally disturb and feel depressing. In this article I will give you a complete guidance to help you overcome this issue.

Its effects on human mind:

 Seeking external validating all the time may have negative impact on your mind health. You became stressful, anxious and even worse , depressed. In the race of pleasing others you neglect yourself, you stop taking care of your self. This self neglecting attitude make you stressful and also lead you to the fear of uncertainty. The work you put to be acknowledged by others make you tired and frustrated mentally and emotionally. But there are tips that help you to overcome your problems. It takes time but these tips are effective. So keep reading. 

Causes:

So the important cause which are proved by many researchers is invalidated by parents in childhood. For example in your childhood you may did something like get good grades but your parents instead of encourage you, said to you to why didn’t you get first position, this grade pressure can become invalidating compliment for a child which lead him or her seek validation in their adulthood. This childhood trauma that make you crave for the external. 

Secondly; the fear of rejection that let you choose this path of seeking approval from others about yourself. 

Thirdly; if you were a neglected child as many parents work hard to fulfil the needs of their child but unfortunately they fail to meet the mental needs of their child. 

Fourthly; when some take credit of your work, I called it "credit stealing". This also lead to external validation.

Every one has different experiences there are different situations that lead you seek external validation.

Common Signs of EXTERNAL VALIDATION:

1. If you feel uneasy while someone is praising another person  infront of you. It is not always jealousy or envy sometimes you want to become better from others and you work hard for it, you want that acknowledgement anyways.

2. When other people opinions matter most to you. You priorities others opinion over your own opinions about yourself.

3.when you start comparing yourself with other constantly.

4. No matter how good you are, you always look down on yourself.

Tips to stop seeking external validation:

1. Sit in a quite place and think of positive attributes of yourself start praising them. Think pf decisions that you have taken freely with out worrying about others opinion. Know your independence and freedom. You are free to live yourself, you are free to take your decision think this way. 

2. Start taking your health seriously. Exercise daily as exercise releases stress. 

3. Start sitting alone for sometime. Spare sometime for yourself to contemplate about your day, about your actions , about things that make you happy. Know your self.

4.Set a small goals for yourself and on the completion of each give some reward to yourself. In this way you will start loving yourself annd the habit of internal validation grows in yourself then you will never seek validation from others. 

5. Any thing that make you stressful or anxious eliminate it and replace it with positive things. When some one praising others at that point start thinking about your achievements or positive qualities, in this way you suppress your anxiousness and make you more calm and composed. 

Conclusion:

Everyone have a past and some experiences of their lives that leave scars and at some point of our lives that scars trigger and make us mentally and emotionally disturbed and weak. External validation is one such example. Every one needs acknowledgement to some extent to be motivated but when you need it excessively in every aspect of your life be it professional or personal live then at that point you should start worrying about your mental health. 



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